College Tuition

ringing with a slow build

my cell phone

blinks the name of my sister

BREANNA

blinking and I wonder

what a 1 am call has to do with safety

Breanna

19 years of gorgeous

some less of independence

wishing that college tuition grew on trees

fighting loss of confidence

in teenagers

bent on development

demanding the changing of circumstances

marching boldly

to middle class debt and white collar jobs

you robbed me, not you Breanna

but the collective you of all the isms

the you, I owe 80,000 

working in administration 

to pay for my keys

making art in my "off-time"

excuse me when I sniffle, just a bit

and sound hollow 

in my response

remembering my own hustle

into middle class debt

and cheek biting

burying the isms deep 

so as not to effect my push 

sister, 1 am calls 

speak of a different safety

to clamor into what you want

the fear of losing grip

on a dream, 

built on other peoples money

that fear is real

and realer still, the reality

achievement does not make it go away-- 

subside

they are just different isms

clenching our ribs

squeezing life

and demanding 

weekly, monthly, yearly sub-prime payments

that building buzz 

reminding

you work to get

where is not always the destination

it is the work, the fear, the knotty clench

making forward steps the necessity

those dollars burnable

those isms just part of the check list